Sunday, January 2, 2011

Dating

I hate dating. Let me rephrase that. I hated dating. That's one of the reasons why I love being married, I don't have to date anymore. The awkwardness of being asked out, the torture of making small-talk and "getting to know each other", sitting around waiting and wondering when you are going to hear from them again, wondering if you should initiate contact this time, should you call or text or maybe email, not knowing what the other person is thinking or feeling about you and the relationship, wondering if it's even really a relationship yet, having to have "the talk" about whether you're exclusive or not, ugh, just all of it, I hated it. And here I am, back in the "dating" scene.

Have you ever noticed how making new friends is kind of like dating? Do you ever remember saying, "Oh, I want a boyfriend/girlfriend soooo bad"? Well, that's like me and friends here in Washington. I want new (local) friends soooo bad. I've been on a couple of "dates" with some prospective friends, we've done the awkward get-to-know-you-chit-chat, but it's to the point now where I am wondering if they like me. Do they want to be my friend? And how do we take it to the next level, beyond the weather and our husbands' work schedules? Since when did making friends become so difficult?

I feel like friendships in the Army change depending on the season. They go to a whole new level if both the spouses are deployed at the same time. The friendships tend to go into a "lull" or just put on hold momentarily when the husbands come home, and understandably so. Right now, thankfully all of our husbands are home at the moment, so maybe that's why the friendships are going a little slow right now. It's just tough being so far away from friends and family....the comfortableness (is that a word?) of it all. I am so anxious to get back to a new "normal" that I sometimes I can't even enjoy this season of our life. If we make new friends here, maybe we won't be quite so homesick. Maybe so, but instead of hoping and wondering and wishing, I'm going to try to relish in this newness and just take it one day at a time.

Or I'm at least going to try!

7 comments:

Carole's world said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carole's world said...

I love being married too. Life was never so beautiful.
And I used to find friends online but finally ended up deleting my facebook account. Friendship is so hard to find in today's world.
So my solution: no need to try to find new friends when I already have my best friends: my husband, my dogs and some of other family members.

Jesspo said...

Amanda - of course your prospective friends will LOVE you - what's not to LOVE about you - you're super amazing and talented!! If they don't love you, give me their number and I'll tell them 100 reasons why they should be your friend!!! If only I could go on dates with you all the time!!! xxx

Wine in Thyme said...

I have a friend who was in the army, keeping Germany safe during the Vietnam War. He and his wife made some lifelong friends and it is so amazing to me. But they, like you, were thrust into unknown areas with no family to support them, so they supported each other. They're all in their late 60's and still get together t2 or 3 times a years. i hope you find at least one true friend like they did. I disagree with Carole - it's not hard to find friendship. Too many of us close ourselves off from it because that initial discourse can be uncomfortable. But you never know what kind of friend is out there looking for a friend just like you, til you find them.

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